Authentic

I've been thinking about authenticity this morning. I started this blog to give myself a place to vent; I tend to keep lots of things to myself and so when the straw comes that breaks the camel's (my) back, I don't release in a really dramatic way, but it's definitely more intense than usual. An example is a couple of days ago, after a several-day period of financial stresses. A certain issue came up and I pretty much "let go;" a little later, Renee commented that I "always get so mad," meaning that when I do get angry, I get very angry. And yes, she's right.

So if this is the case, what's the use of doing this blog? If I put up a facade, where is my release when I need it?

Yesterday I was talking to someone very near and dear to me; even though I may say nothing, this person is able to know when things are on my mind and bothering me--not all the time, but sometimes. We were talking about that yesterday and they said that unless I bring it up, they don't feel it's appropriate to mention anything because they believe that it's not their business unless I tell them about it.

It's just that I have trouble letting my guard down because such things have caused me troubles in the past. But then again, look--I'm still here and kicking. And really, when I do have challenges, they help me to get stronger. Difficulties may not be fun, but the end result is a good thing.

So seriously: should I shy away from hardship, especially when I know it makes me better in more ways than one? Of course not! And really, dealing with troubles makes such things easier as life goes along. It's kind of like playing an instrument--the more you do it, the better you get at it.

So okay, let's see how good I can get at authenticity!

Namaste'