I haven't been here in a few days.

Seems like my life has been pretty chaotic and challenging, especially in the money area. I'm hoping for some relief in the next few days, so I can breathe more easy!

I had ordered a couple of books written by Swamiji (Paramahamsa Nithyananda) and received them this past week. Honestly, I haven't read too much of them, but my plan is to really delve into them in the next few days. I've gotten a little started on the first book, which is about 400 pages, and I'm hoping to finish it by the end of next week. One thing I read today is regarding the "hamsa" meditation, which is very simple and is supposed to help you take control of fear in your life. On the inhale, you quietly say "ham" and on the exhale, you quietly say "sah." It can be something you do all the time, not just when you're doing a focused meditation. I've started doing it.

Something else I've been doing is focusing on more exercise. In our city, to drink tap water is not suggested, as its flavor is just horrible. Because of this, a lot of people get their water from water dispensers around the city; it varies from 20 cents to 30 cents per gallon. So what I've been doing is walking to a water dispenser, which is about a mile away from my home, and refilling just one gallon. I haven't done it every day, but I've done it several times this week. This way I am exercising my legs and my arms and I'm not being so lazy!

I have to admit that I've been getting very frustrated by my life situation over the past few days. Just doesn't seem like I'm getting a lot of help here at home--I'm getting some, but not as much as I need and/or want. I despise being taken for granted, and that's what I've been perceiving--that I'm being taken for granted. I know I should be sending money to my parents for rent, but it's not working out, and that really bothers me. I so want to be making more money---I'd love it to be just me and Jason here at home (even if that means not having a car)---I'd really like to just have peace.

Inner Awakening is really on my mind. I should just sign up and leave the "hows" to the Universe. I keep on saying or thinking that, but I also keep on not doing it.