Opportunity Galore

Once again, it's been a while since I've been here. But my life has been so hectic!

I'll say this for sure: there are changes galore going on, and even though chaos is really occurring quite a bit for me right now, I'm seeing it as the storm before the calm, so to speak. You know that saying, when things appear to be falling apart, they're probably really falling together? That's how I feel about my life right now. But goodness, so much to deal with!

I'm loving my job right now, no doubt. I'm working with an incredible teacher and we really seem to be a wonderful fit. He and I see things so much alike, and it's actually a joy to go to work right now. He's a huge team player and he really is making me a part of his team, bless him! What an amazing change from last year :-)

I'm having some pressure applied to me about paying rent to my parents. I must confess that I've been negligent with that, and yes, it's my fault. And part of the chaos in my life is that people are moving out from this house, and this will require me to bear the load of either most or all of the rent.

HOWEVER! There is a new income opportunity that I've become involved in: Empower Network. What a wonderful organization this is! I am so excited about it, because the aim of this organization IS literally to empower each of their members. The basic suggested activity is to blog with them every day, and I've been doing pretty well with that. Of course, there's more to this, and I am awash in different things to absorb and apply. LOADS of support in this organization; to be honest, it's actually overwhelming! I just need to sort things out and learn how to apply it all.

So this is how I'm seeing things. I have extra financial demands staring me in the face, and I also have the Empower Network. As far as I'm concerned, Empower will be my support through these temporary financial challenges--not just my support, but my method into prosperity and financial freedom! Yes, I've been involved in internet income opportunities before, and yes, I've not been able to make them work for me up to now, but Empower is so vastly different. Like I said before, the support is all over, and it would be crazy to not take advantage of it, especially with the situation I'm in right now.

The way I see it, this is my Life Theme for the time being: Up, Up, and AWAY!

Moving Along

Once again, long time.

Lots of stuff going on again.

No longer in a committed relationship, and somehow, I'm pretty much okay with it. I honestly feel like I'm moving on--to what, I couldn't tell you, but it feels like it's probably the next step in my life and that it's necessary to be done with the relationship stuff. Perhaps I'm not even meant to have a "significant other" any more, not for the rest of this life. That kind of bothers me, but then again, it is what it is.

Feeling like I need to look into some kind of alternative health modality and become a practitioner of it. I'm leaning towards herbology in a way, but definitely not 100%. I'm going to keep on looking at various websites and see what I'm drawn to.

Also feeling like I really need to get down to it with Jason. I'm feeling lots of pressure about that, especially from the girls. When I consider it, I'm thinking that perhaps this is the Universe telling me to get motivated, even though it may not be about putting him back into public school. It might be just about changes and moving along. Stagnation is not a good thing, after all. "The more things change, the more they stay the same." The girls seem to think that socialization is important for everyone, and I don't agree with that. I'm not saying that Jason is definitely meant for a solitary life; what I am saying is that we need to consider that he may be.

Summer break is done; I'm in school training right now, and the first day of school is coming up less than a week from now.

What is next? I don't know. I really feel like a whole lot of limbo is all around me, though.

Despite all the confusion in my life right now, I'm feeling and seeing evidence that order is starting to come out of it all. I'm really grateful for that. So, thank you to whoever or whatever it is that's helping me out!

Angels, I'm gonna ask here: Please help me to improve my financial situation, so that I have more stability in that area. Show me what to do and help me to have the motivation to get those things done.

Back to school in less than a week.

So much confusion right now. I would love to have more clarity.

Current Phase?

So apparently Angels are my "thing" for now. I spoke to them when I first got up this morning and even asked them last night, just before I went to sleep, to help me make these improvements/changes/whatever that need to be dealt with. I've felt connected to angels in the past; as a matter of fact, I'd read something that said it was good to name one's own guardian angel; I named mine Victory, because with him/her, I will achieve victory. Victory and I have been through quite a lot together!

Angels

Hello, Angels.

Well, as you know, I've felt led to confer with you lately. Now, I realize that all the stuff I'm getting ready to put here are things you already know. But as you also know, it's just helpful to me to spell things out, too. Perhaps it's therapeutic for me, in its own way.

Of course, money is the main issue for me. But I will say that it's looking like things may be improving in that area for me. I hope I'm right, because it would be helpful to have less stress in my life. Seems like when I have money issues, I get less loving in dealing with some people, especially with people who I see as the so-called cause of those problems. Mind you, I realize that I am the source of all things in my life--both wonderful and difficult--but somehow, I just am not finding it in me to resolve the difficulties. I'm not exactly sure why, but there you go.

Going along with that is my desire to get the training I need to be able to work at a better-paying job, not to mention helping Daryle when I get up there next year. That is so important to me. Maybe Odessa College is a good resource for that after all, but I'm just not sure. I'd love to do it through the internet, but I don't seem to be able to find a place that does such things. Whatever you can work out would be wonderful.

Another really big one is the house. I know there are so many things that need to be dealt with in this house and the property; I guess that they overwhelm me and I don't know what to do about them. The book I've been reading (The Angel Therapy Handbook by Doreen Virtue) suggests that I get with Jophi-el and ask for her assistance, so I can make my living space more beautiful. So okay, Jophi-el, I'm asking. Please help me to deal with this situation. I want to make it right, and I know I need some help. And thank you so much.

And then there's moving to Syracuse next year. This will definitely need some planning ahead, not to mention preparing the house (which I just mentioned, of course). I think it would be a really great idea to ship my table, my bookshelf, and my bench up to Syracuse ahead of time, and I need to find out how to do that. Mind you, that would depend on how things go in Syracuse. Daryle may be moving to another place before I get up there, and it wouldn't be logical for me to ship those items before he moves, if he does. So timing may be an important factor.

I'm not very happy about the health of my body right now. I need to get to a healthy weight, plus my eating habits aren't so great. I'm starting to feel stuff going on with my right knee, too, and Sandi's mother-in-law had mentioned this could be the beginning of some serious knee issues, to include knee replacement surgery. I'm not really interested in that, as you already know. I need some solutions to all this.

You probably noticed that I said something about how I start things but don't tend to stick with them. I don't know why that is, although it's quite possible that it's just a matter of those things not being right for me. Yeah, that could be true, but why do I feel right about them when I start? It's downright frustrating, and that's the truth. I need some really firm guidance about the best things for me to do for myself, and some strong motivation to stick with it. For example, the alkaline diet. I remember quite strongly how helpful that was for me, but yet now I just don't seem to have it in me to stay with it. I see it as self-sabotage, and I can understand why I would be in that place. I know you can help me to resolve that, and I thank you for it.

Okay, I guess that will do it for now. Thank you for giving me the courage to put this down in "black and white" (or whatever colors they'll turn out to be LOL). Yes, this definitely was therapeutic.

Just help me, okay?

PS--After I posted this, I noticed that the time for its posting was 3:33. This is the message that "333" is delivering:

“You are completely surrounded, protected, loved, and guided by the benevolent ascended masters.”

This is the web page from which I found that information.

Been gone for a while again.

Lots of stuff going on around the world!

Bradley Manning has been found not guilty of the most serious charge against him, but guilty of enough charges to possibly keep him incarcerated for over a century. I personally believe he should be pardoned, released, and allowed to go on with his life. In my mind, he's a hero.

Also, Robert Snowden has been granted asylum in Russia. I rejoice about this, and I pray that this next phase of his life will go on without a hitch and that he will find success in whatever he chooses to do.

Still plenty of unrest in the middle east. My primary focus over there is Palestine, with Egypt being a close second. However, there are many more--seems to me there are so many it's hard to keep track of them all. I don't mean to undermine the importance of any of them, though. To me--and this could be misconstrued--the fact that there is so much going on there is a good sign, that the people are waking up and striving for truth and justice. I don't like that there is so much bloodshed, however.

In my own life, I have lots of confusion and feel lost. I'm reading lots of stuff that say to be strong and wait, because major changes are ever so close. In my heart of hearts, I believe that to be absolutely true. However, there are so many challenges in my life right now--mostly about money, same as usual--and it's hard to be patient. I must say, though, that I'm finding that patience inside of me, and that is a wonder.

One of my Facebook friends made a really good point yesterday. I had made mention of the idea that I tend to start things but not finish them; I was saying this in response to a technique to help yourself get through these difficult times. My friend pointed out that perhaps those things aren't right for me and that I shouldn't stress about not following through. This really struck a cord for me. And too, it's not appropriate to judge (in this case, myself). So I should just let it go and proceed on with my life.

Just really angry at myself this morning. I could've said angry at some other people, but when it comes down to it, I'm not angry at them. I mean, I have to be honest about it. I was thinking at first that it was about the other people, but Spirit led me down a path--nothing unusual--and I understood that it was definitely about me.

I know my thoughts attract my reality. And truly, my thoughts have been mostly about "lack" lately. I'm aware of it, too, and it's like I need to be in this place, even though it causes me pain and challenges. Just like, about a week ago, watching the one LifeBliss video helped me to understand that I come from a place "I'm not enough." That realization brought me to tears, and I know why it's that way for me.

I really need to discipline myself to a positive place either most of the time or all of the time. I'm not sure how to do that, but I will say this:

To all the divine beings, my helpers, my angels, everyone all around me who can assist me to a brighter place of Light: I ask for your help in achieving a more Loving attitude--towards all beings, and towards myself. And help me to relax into your guidance. I thank you for everything you have done for me, and I thank you for all the successes you will help me to gain.


PS--I'm feeling better now :-)

Sometimes I really feel like going off into a cave somewhere and escaping.

Authentic

I've been thinking about authenticity this morning. I started this blog to give myself a place to vent; I tend to keep lots of things to myself and so when the straw comes that breaks the camel's (my) back, I don't release in a really dramatic way, but it's definitely more intense than usual. An example is a couple of days ago, after a several-day period of financial stresses. A certain issue came up and I pretty much "let go;" a little later, Renee commented that I "always get so mad," meaning that when I do get angry, I get very angry. And yes, she's right.

So if this is the case, what's the use of doing this blog? If I put up a facade, where is my release when I need it?

Yesterday I was talking to someone very near and dear to me; even though I may say nothing, this person is able to know when things are on my mind and bothering me--not all the time, but sometimes. We were talking about that yesterday and they said that unless I bring it up, they don't feel it's appropriate to mention anything because they believe that it's not their business unless I tell them about it.

It's just that I have trouble letting my guard down because such things have caused me troubles in the past. But then again, look--I'm still here and kicking. And really, when I do have challenges, they help me to get stronger. Difficulties may not be fun, but the end result is a good thing.

So seriously: should I shy away from hardship, especially when I know it makes me better in more ways than one? Of course not! And really, dealing with troubles makes such things easier as life goes along. It's kind of like playing an instrument--the more you do it, the better you get at it.

So okay, let's see how good I can get at authenticity!

Namaste'

I haven't been here in a few days.

Seems like my life has been pretty chaotic and challenging, especially in the money area. I'm hoping for some relief in the next few days, so I can breathe more easy!

I had ordered a couple of books written by Swamiji (Paramahamsa Nithyananda) and received them this past week. Honestly, I haven't read too much of them, but my plan is to really delve into them in the next few days. I've gotten a little started on the first book, which is about 400 pages, and I'm hoping to finish it by the end of next week. One thing I read today is regarding the "hamsa" meditation, which is very simple and is supposed to help you take control of fear in your life. On the inhale, you quietly say "ham" and on the exhale, you quietly say "sah." It can be something you do all the time, not just when you're doing a focused meditation. I've started doing it.

Something else I've been doing is focusing on more exercise. In our city, to drink tap water is not suggested, as its flavor is just horrible. Because of this, a lot of people get their water from water dispensers around the city; it varies from 20 cents to 30 cents per gallon. So what I've been doing is walking to a water dispenser, which is about a mile away from my home, and refilling just one gallon. I haven't done it every day, but I've done it several times this week. This way I am exercising my legs and my arms and I'm not being so lazy!

I have to admit that I've been getting very frustrated by my life situation over the past few days. Just doesn't seem like I'm getting a lot of help here at home--I'm getting some, but not as much as I need and/or want. I despise being taken for granted, and that's what I've been perceiving--that I'm being taken for granted. I know I should be sending money to my parents for rent, but it's not working out, and that really bothers me. I so want to be making more money---I'd love it to be just me and Jason here at home (even if that means not having a car)---I'd really like to just have peace.

Inner Awakening is really on my mind. I should just sign up and leave the "hows" to the Universe. I keep on saying or thinking that, but I also keep on not doing it.

ET Stuff

I feel a huge draw to the subject of extra terrestrials. I love the movie "Contact" and am pretty much instantly sucked into anything having to do with beings from other planets coming to planet Earth. I don't like the idea of those beings having malevolent intentions; from my perspective, if they're advanced enough to have the technology to come the huge distance between their planet to this planet, then they're also advanced enough to be of Love.

I feel like I have ET roots somehow. I know that may sound crazy and/or weird, but I really do. I've looked at the questionnaires that are supposed to be able to say whether or not a person has ET roots ("star seed" or whatever), and I don't do too well on those. It's just an inner knowing; that's all I have. But honestly, that's enough for me. It's like some people say--your inner Truth is what you should trust. And yes, I do.

I've been checking out various ET races that are supposed to be here; my biggest focus lately is the Arcturians. There's a guy on YouTube who is supposed to be an embodied Arcturian. He's a teenager and quite wise. He's not flashy or anything like that about his experiences or his abilities, but he's not shy about discussing them. His YouTube ID is Arcturus Ant and if you're the least bit curious, I suggest you take a look at his channel.

There's a documentary that's recently been released called "Sirius." It's about different things that the U.S. government has been hiding from the general public, to include interaction with ET's. I haven't seen it yet, but I probably will be watching it within the next few weeks. I understand there's quite a bit of scientific research to back up what's revealed in this movie. Here's a trailor for it:



And this is a link to a website that takes the movie and goes further.

Have fun with it!

Poem (Untitled)

there is Spirit here
it consumes the place
it consumes Us
we are inside it
it is inside us
We are One
Unity in totality
Our thoughts are Its thoughts
It knows us
It guides us
To knowing
Truth
Love
Infinity

Free For All

I had made a comment on Facebook about how I have so much to say but don't seem to be able to verbalize. One of my good friends there, Johnny Linehan (I call him "Sir Sean") had suggested that I just start writing a free-form poem with no regard to sentence structure or even if it makes sense. So this is what I'm going to do here. And thank you so much, Sir Sean! <3


There are times
when so much is happening
that you just wonder where the order is in it all
Yes, out of chaos comes order
And when things are seeming to be falling apart, they're actually coming together
But in the meantime
in the midst of it all
you just wonder if there really is any sense to it


My spiritual path is so twisty-turny
i have no idea where it's leading me
i guess i don't want to know
i guess it's okay if i don't know
but i do know that one day it will lead me to the right place
no matter where that is no matter when that is
there will be satisfaction for me
joy
peace
Love
home.

Selfish

I can be so incredibly selfish. Sometimes I wish I could be alone with all the things I need and want for a week or a month so I can do whatever I want, when I want. Plus blogger is now demanding that I entitle each of my blog entries, which I really don't want to do, and so that just adds to the frustration.

Of course, there are alternatives to the things I could do. I just don't feel like doing anything else.

But such is life.

Namaste'

Inner Awareness #2

Well, this Inner Awareness thing really has caught my interest. I've been watching several of Swamiji's videos (admittedly, none today yet) and they seem like they're laying the groundwork for something fabulous in my future.

I hope I can get brave enough to go forward towards it and actually GO.

Inner Awakening #1

I am going to Inner Awakening.
I am going to Inner Awakening.
I am going to Inner Awakening!!


Inner Awakening!!

This is a 30-minute video I just viewed a little while ago. It speaks of things you can do to detox yourself, both body and mind. One of the things Nithyananda brings up is in regards to the kinds of food you eat. I've been hearing a lot lately about the value of organic food, and the normal reaction I have to this is that organic food is so much more expensive. Now, the interesting thing that comes back to me is related to margarine and butter. Many years ago I felt that butter was too expensive for me to include in my grocery expenses. However, some information I read a while ago led me to decide to stop purchasing margarine and start getting butter instead. Well, guess what? Making that financial adjustment was easier than I thought it would be. So, if my goal is to increase my level of enlightenment, then why shouldn't the Universe support it?

This is feeling very right to me.

My life is definitely taking a sharp dive into the spiritual. On YouTube, I'd been subscribed to and watching a lot of the videos by "Arcturus Ant," and he further led me to a woman called "MaNithya Sudevi," who I've also subscribed to and watching. And now Sudevi has further led me to Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam of the LifeBliss Foundation! Lots of valuable content in all this, and it's very exciting to me!

MaNithya recommends a 21-day retreat that the LifeBliss Foundation does called "Inner Awakening." I've explored the pamphlet covering this retreat and I'm very, very interested in participating. A couple of days ago, after watching my first Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam video, I became so very quiet. It wasn't a forced thing at all, and in addition, the things that normally are irritating to me weren't at all. It was like the Universe was telling me to pay attention to Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam's influence on me--a very calming, peaceful, positive influence! After such an event, how could I not be interested in attending this retreat?

So now my thoughts are upon withdrawing from my normal protesting of what I perceive as the injustices in our world. And indeed, I have started doing just that. If you were to look at my Facebook page a week ago, and compare it to how it's been the last few days, you would see a great difference. I've started to see that to focus on my own inner peace is probably a whole lot more important. I will be continuing to consider this.

For anyone who's interested in investigating the Inner Awakening program, here is a link.

Namaste' to all of you!

Haven't been here in a while, but that's typically how I blog. I do it regularly for a while, and then I stop for a while.

But today has contained a gargantuan "aha!" moment that I really must share. I think it's one of those understandings that one must experience, rather than read, in order to really comprehend just how big it is.

All these years, I've known that Love Is The Most Important Thing. Plus I knew that we must embrace our enemies, regardless of how much they bother us.

Today, I really "got it."

Today I believe I understand that we truly all are One. Today I believe I truly understand that there is no Us and Them. Today I believe I understand that there is only "Us." When there is a perception that there is "them," then that is truly the time to be in a space of Love and to shine it out--envelope!--"them" with it. Love, compassion, acceptance. Give it to "them" freely. For in giving to "them," we give it to all of Us.

This is so exciting to me!

Namaste'

Just watched a movie called "Diary of A Single Mom." The bottom line is that she had been through much drama and many challenges but she was determined to make things better for herself and for her children, not to mention the people she cared about. The movie itself wasn't so great, but boy, did it give me some insights! Her focus was mainly on those around her, but at the same time, she was learning to care about making things better for herself, too. It gave me a lot to think about and really pushed its message straight through to the part of me that needs to pay attention.

The interesting thing is that over the past few days, things are springing up to show me that improvements are in the air. These improvements are things that are important to me, and the whole scenario is so very exciting to me! It really feels like these things are in my reach. I don't quite know how they've manifested, because there is more than one possibility, but it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that they are happening.

Plus I'm starting to really speak up about things that are important to me. I have a letter in the works to the interim ECISD superintendent regarding some suggestions I have, and I'm also going to be seeing Mrs. Young--my supervisor at school--regarding some things I want to bring up about work. I'm really finding my voice and I'm taking charge of how things can go for myself.

Excited! Proud of myself! Moving forward!

Life has taken an exciting turn. My focus is on the spiritual, and Spirit is guiding me to information that is SO relevant to me. Plus resources for things I need/want are manifesting. I am so excited about this! Makes me wonder what will be happening in my life by the time the summer break is over.

I've been having a strong experience of metamorphosis this evening. It's kind of unsettling, but at the same time, it gives me the feeling of expectation, of "what's going to happen next?"

With the exception of my breakfast, I've not eaten well today at all. I may redeem myself a bit tonight and eat an apple. But junk food has pretty much been my staple today. Oh, and I've had a decent amount of water today, too, which is good.

I've been doing a lot of metaphysical reading and viewing today. The main message I'm getting from it all is to honor my experience, allow others to have their experiences even though their views may not match mine, and if I don't agree with how others see things, chalk it up to contrast and, as I like to say, "let them be there." It's not up to me to dishonor another person's path and growth. It's not for me to judge anyone, but it is appropriate for me to learn more about myself in the viewing of other people's experiences. The lessons I take away from other peoples' lives may be completely different from how they see it, and that's absolutely okay. When Jesus said "Judge not," that's part of what he was talking about!

I've had an urge to really get down to reading the Qu'ran. I have a lot of respect for Islam, but I don't know anything about its religious book, and really, I can't give a good debate about anything having to do with it unless I have a good foundation. So I really need to do that.

Namaste' to all of you!

So yeah, I did indeed take it easy today. I didn't make the chocolate cake, though; probably another time.

I was watching the movie called "Good Deeds" with Tyler Perry a little while ago. It got me thinking about the "Prince Charming" concept, where a guy comes along and saves the damsel in distress. Yeah, I'll admit I've wished for that at times. It's no fun struggling when those kinds of challenges come to me, but at the same time, as I've said before, I get a little humorous and say that the Creator is giving me a huge compliment because s/he knows that I can deal with it.

So this is the bottom line: the Prince Charming IS ME. I have all those resources in me already and I have to know that and claim it and aim my eyes towards it. I have a certain lifestyle as my goal, but at the same time, I have this idea in my way that to achieve it requires lots of drama and difficulty. My Love and I have started to develop a picture of how we choose our life together to be; we can choose for that life to come to us with difficulty, or with ease. Needless to say, for it to come to us with ease would be very nice!

Here is an idea: What if I just decide that the life we choose comes to us easily?

I'm posting kind of early today. I may write some more later, too.

I'd forgotten to mention that yesterday, when I did my meditation, I imagined myself deep in the earth in a huge cave, with a much smaller cave to its side. The smaller cave was covered all over with rich, emerald-green moss and was just the right size for me to enter and sit in. So in my mind, this is where I did my meditation. I was dressed in a long beige tunic, quite comfortable and soft. It draped my body and felt wonderful.

Today I've already gotten some things done, and I think I'll take it easy for the rest of the day. I may make a cake; my youngest son had asked for a chocolate cake several days ago and I just may do it later.

I have a Facebook account and I'm a member of a group that focuses on New Age kinds of things; through that group I was led to this web site I did one of the transmissions a little while ago and it was very nice! I'm "getting" that I shouldn't do any more than 1 each day; this makes sense to me because I wouldn't want to overload myself. That could cause a load of chaos, yes?

Blessed be to all of you, and namaste'

Hello, world. At this moment, I feel like crap because my belly is FULL of my eldest daughter's scrumptious enchiladas :) However, I've taken a water + baking soda drink and it's slowly getting better, which is a good thing!

Today was a pretty good day. I got out and did a bit more than 3 miles of walking; immediately afterwards, I did a wonderful meditation to this "music" that relaxed me so beautifully:



I did some cleaning, but not as much as I did yesterday. I also worked on my sign language. In addition, I've spoken to someone in the office of the chiropractor I want to see; I'll need about $100 for my initial appointment, and then $45 for every other follow-up appointment, altho I don't know how many of those I'll need.

So all in all, I've worked on 5 items from my list of goals for the summer. Yay me!

And even as I'm typing this, my stomach is getting SO much better :)

Today is my Love's birthday and I was feeling kind of bad that I didn't do more to acknowledge it, even though he doesn't normally celebrate his birthday. I hope I can make up for it in the future.

I was going leave on Sunday to visit my friend for a few days, but I think I'll postpone that until next month.

As for this evening, I'm feeling pretty spacey. I think I'll just chill for the rest of the evening and get to bed at a decent time. And maybe I should build a nap into my day for the next little while and see how that works for me.

Namaste', everyone.

I'm definitely liking the freedom I'm experiencing during this summer break :) I really feel like I've let quite a few things get out of hand in the past several months, and I like it that I have the time to get them back in control.

I've gotten quite a bit done today. On my list of things to work on this summer, I've done numbers 1 through 5 as well as #8, with huge emphasis on #1. I'm pretty pleased with myself and I hope I keep up the momentum through the summer time. Heck, I may even get some reading in before the day is out!

Seems like I'm still leaning towards keeping my job working with the school district. I don't know if it's getting any firmer in my mind, but at least I've been giving it thought.

I was thinking about the views this blog has been getting, even despite the fact I've only told one person about it. I want to let y'all know--whoever you are--that I appreciate it, because your views are giving me the motivation to keep coming back. In continuing my posts, I'm sure I'll get more clarity about what's happening in my life and I'll be able to move forward more intelligently.

A few days ago, I'd commented about wanting to have more peace and quiet here at home. I had lots today, and I'm so grateful for that!

To all of you who are kind enough to peruse my musings---Namaste'

Well, today is my first official day of summer break. I have some things to work on; here is a rough list.

1. Get my house clean, including my bedroom
2. Work on getting better at American Sign Language
3. Make a decision about what I'll be doing for work come the beginning of August
4. Spoil myself a little
5. Improve my physical fitness
6. Maybe see about getting chiropractic treatment
7. Do some reading
8. Further develop my spiritual side

Today I've worked on #1, #3, #4, and #8.

For #2, my plan is to develop a play list on YouTube and go through it at least 3 times each week, as well as using the "Sign Language for Dummies" book that a friend gave to me.

Regarding #3, I'm starting to lean towards staying at Hood. However, I need to talk to Mrs. Young (my supervisor there) first.

This really does feel like it's been a productive day, and I'm satisfied with it.

Just watched an amazing video called "The Pleiadian Prophecy - Matt Kahn/TrueDivineNature.com"

It's a bit more than an hour long, and it has really produced a shift in me. I would've embedded it in this entry, but embedding has been disabled for it. If you feel the least bit curious, I encourage you to check it out. Your curiosity is probably a nudge from something higher than you.

Namaste'

I was just looking at the stats for this blog, focusing on the page views. When I saw the number of page views before, I always assumed they were my own views as I was looking at things while setting certain details up. But today, well this is the first I've been on my blog today, and there are 10 views. This is very interesting.

I was just looking at an article about a couple who committed suicide together. They were a well-known couple who did life coaching on the radio and apparently "being happy" was their theme. So now that they decided to kill themselves, people are wondering about the wisdom of focusing solely on happiness. And you know, I get that. If you think you should always be happy, and you're not, what kind of pressure does that put on you? How much of a success do you think you'll be? And how much value do you think you have, if you can't be successful at that "one little thing"? And then, if you're preaching it publicly, that puts even more pressure on yourself.

I feel sorry for that couple, in a way, because they must have felt so much pain in the short time before they made that decision. And in my personal belief system, when you kill yourself, things are more difficult for you when you come back another time (i.e. reincarnation, which yes, I do believe in that).

I'm really glad I saw that article. I've been feeling pretty down lately, and seeing it helps me to know that I'm not the only one, and there is value in the "contrast," as Abraham (-Hicks) puts it.

Namaste'

I've really been craving some peace and quiet at home, which has been difficult to obtain over long periods lately. I can get some when I leave the house, but it seems like when I'm at home, and there are other people in the space I'm occupying (or want to be in) at any given moment, I feel like my space has been invaded. It's gotten to the point where I get very emotional ever-so-easily and little things will bring me to tears.

I'm going to visit an old friend in about a week, and I'll be there for 3-4 days. Maybe I'll get some more of my sanity back when I get a break away from here.

You know how you have plans, and they look like they're laid out so perfectly, but then something happens that messes things up?

I've been unhappy in my current job as a special ed aide for a few reasons. The main reasons are the low pay along with the aide who works with me, who is over 70 and who doesn't seem too keen to be involved with the more challenging students in our class. I feel overburdened, taken for granted, and not so appreciated.

So when I found out about a free certified nursing assistant (CNA) course, I looked into it and found out there was a possibility of being able to take this free course during the school summer break. I was informed that there was a class tentatively planned for June 25; it would go for a month. This would have fit into my summer break very well because it would give me a couple of weeks free before the class started, and then I'd hopefully be able to have a little time to see how the work would go so I could make an informed decision about leaving my current job.

Well, the class start date changed to June 5 or 6, which was a definite problem because I was still in school at that time (today was the last day). I asked about the next start date; it's in the beginning of July, and it would end in the beginning of August, just before the new school year starts. This would work out pretty well, but for some reason, the instructor couldn't guarantee that I'd get a seat in that class. So I'm very restless about that, because I really want this to happen.

Not to mention that I just found out today that there will be a major change in how my job will go in the next school year. It appears that I may not be working with the other aide as much as I've been this year, and even with a different teacher, not to mention with a completely different program. I think I'd like that.

And a good friend helped me with a tarot card reading about a week or so ago that speaks of a new job. Either of those situations would pretty much fit that criteria. I'm hoping for a pay boost, and there was an announcement that my current job would make me eligible for a $400 bonus at the end of each of the semesters. The CNA job would be an increase in pay, too, but it wouldn't be through a bonus; it would be due to more pay per hour. I don't know which would be the most lucrative, though, because the bonus may average out to as much pay per hour as the CNA work.

I'm glad I wrote this down. I believe I'm more at peace about all of it, and I just might talk to the school administrator about this in the next couple of weeks.

Thank you, God/dess.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. There's an interesting Bashar video on YouTube that speaks very clearly to me about how my thoughts manifest my reality, and I'm taking it very seriously.



There is so much talk in the community of people I associate with about things like U.S. internment camps, people being imprisoned indefinitely (due to the NDAA), the U.S. currency value falling drastically, and other negatively-charged things. Bashar's lesson lets me know that I have the power to keep this from occurring in my life as long as I take the appropriate steps. This is exciting to me, but it's also pretty overwhelming. What is the right way to proceed? I'm not sure.

I've been getting these little nudges to meditate more regularly. I did it a couple times last week and I've not done it since. I don't know what to do to discipline myself to really do it. It's really getting on my nerves.

My youngest daughter and I used to get along super well. Unfortunately, we hit a huge bump in the road where things took a 180-degree turn for the worse; it lasted a couple of years, I guess. Well, things are significantly better now, but we still have our issues about 50% of the time, maybe a little less. Experienced just such an episode a bit earlier this evening, and such things really bother me. I really do believe that there is much chaos on the planet right now due to planetary transition, and that most of us inhabitants are showing that chaos in our own lives. I'm pretty sure that the challenges between my daughter and me are a part of all that. Two other things I firmly believe are that out of chaos comes order, and that sometimes when it appears that things are falling apart, they're really coming together. I really need to hold on to those concepts.

Hi, everyone. I really feel like the world is going through some incredibly dramatic changes right now, and we are on the edge of something big. I also believe that the way my life is going is a reflection of all that. I guess I could be keeping a written journal of what I'm dealing with, but having a blog is more appealing to me. I've attempted to do blogs in the past, and I have to admit that they all came to an end simply because I wasn't disciplined enough to keep them going. Maybe, just maybe, this one will be different.

Be prepared to see some unique things here, because my personal Truth is far from traditional. My background is traditional, but my present is anything but.

And I will end my first post with a word that has great meaning to me. One way of interpreting this Sanskrit word is: "The divine in me honors the divine in you." And yes, I firmly believe that we all are divine.

Namaste' <3